i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
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I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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