Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So many bounce houses so little time
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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