Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
