did you get engaged???
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
