It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
