I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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