it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
