Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
