I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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