Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
