If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
