i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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