I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
