doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
