I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize