he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
