My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize