i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
