YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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