how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I love having hate sex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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