Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
