Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
