How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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