OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What happened to fro yo and sex?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
