she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm both gender and math confused
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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