I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
