he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
