I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
