Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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