So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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