I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
