two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
