Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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