C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm really busy with my period
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