You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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