Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
