Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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