I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
