There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He had one of those small greek statue penises
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
