When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
