shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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