Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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