writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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