pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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