Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize