Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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