my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
