i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
