So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
