i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
