sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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