he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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