You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
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Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
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Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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