You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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