so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
this hospital has no fireball
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
