She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
