Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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