Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
