We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am mentally ready for anal.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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