She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
