I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
