I am in a vortex of obligation.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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