Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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