if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.