I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
