i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
