Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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