It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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