i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
